fearless_leader: (Can you hear me now?)
Hamato Leonardo ([personal profile] fearless_leader) wrote2005-03-17 07:47 pm

Appointments Post

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[Action] | November 11 | Around the Turtle House /o/

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-11-20 07:25 am (UTC)(link)
[Will all the snow falling, Leo's definitely been indoors more than usual. At the knock he raises an eye ridge. He reaches out to see who's chi it is, only to not find any. Either they left, or...]

The door's not locked. [He opens his eyes to eye the door, still sitting cross legged for now.]
semper_cogitans: (:|a)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-11-20 11:09 am (UTC)(link)
Ah... thank you. [A moment after this, Robert opens the door, craning his head just inside timidly to look at Leo.]

... Could I, er... speak to you for awhile? [Hastily, he amends:] Ah - it is... n-nothing vital, but... but if you had the time...

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-11-22 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
Of course, come sit down.

[He'll motion for the floor nearby, if he wants to sit there.]
semper_cogitans: (D:>)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-11-22 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[And the scientist crosses the floor before taking up a seated position on the mat near Leo. It's not quite seiza, but it is a little more poised than the usual way he sits - albeit he sits primly enough most of the time.

For a moment, he seems to be searching himself, trying to find the right words. But to begin:]

Ah - thank you...


[He fidgets. Suddenly all the preparation - the few days of trying to psyche himself up for this - sort of dies in the water.]

... I... I was told I should... speak to you about... perfectionism. Because... b-because we both have... a habit of it.

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-11-26 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
[Leo makes the position look so easy. But at least he's not making him kneel? Leo has a feeling this isn't a social call though. Robert's there for a reason and it's probably not meditating.]

Did Don suggest it?
semper_cogitans: (:<)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-11-26 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
[Is it really that obvious? But Robert nods a little hesitantly, after a moment.]

... He said it might be... mutually beneficial.


Though I... a-am not certain exactly what he wants us to discuss in regards to it...

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-11-26 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Well, it was his first guess. He wonders what Don was thinking though.]

Hm, I'm sure he had a reason. But...I have noticed we do tend to do similar things. [Like the cleaning.]
semper_cogitans: (D:>)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-11-26 10:03 am (UTC)(link)
... D-Do you have that same... need to do them? The compulsion...? [Robert fidgets suddenly, wringing his fingers - that's another common one from him, as Leo should know well by now.] ... And... does it make decisions... difficult, sometimes?

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-11-27 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
I have a want to get things right, to do things right. Training, cooking, keeping things clean.

[He closes his eyes for a moment. Leo's noticed that.]

But working with three brothers, I've also learned to compromise. [Because his brothers aren't always perfect.]
semper_cogitans: (:<)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-11-27 02:35 pm (UTC)(link)
How do you... separate the compulsions, then? [How does he stop himself from being paralyzed by indecision? How does he stop himself from locking up and running away rather than failing?]

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-11-28 08:52 am (UTC)(link)
[And Leo hasn't failed?]

It depends on the situation. For me it's easier to push it aside in battle, than it is in normal things.

I focus on what's at hand. Getting what needs to be done, done. Can deal with the consequences later.
semper_cogitans: (:|a)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-11-28 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[Not to Robert. Or at least, Robert's never seen Leo doing anything he'd describe as failing.]

So... f-focusing on... on what is necessary to do rather than... the ways it could go wrong...?

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 05:08 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, it helps you to accomplish more. [He regards Robert for a moment, watching his reactions and expressions.]

Have you been having issues?
semper_cogitans: (D:>)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-11-29 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
[He nods, a little shamefully.]

... I... I often find myself... having difficulty doing anything, because... because I worry I will... fail.

And... and then I end up doing nothing at all...

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 07:41 am (UTC)(link)
A wise man once told me that someone who never fails, never learns. [Of course he's changed a couple of words, but it's basically the same.]

Striving for perfection is fine. But it's also fine to not always be perfect. It's what you do after those failures that matters.
semper_cogitans: (:<)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-11-29 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[It is very difficult to take this advice to heart, but Robert is trying.]

I feel like I am... l-letting everybody down, though... and, and if I get it wrong, then... h-how do I face everyone I have failed...?

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-11-30 08:30 am (UTC)(link)
I know the feeling all too well. [Especially when his family was injured because of it. Beaten himself up mentally over it. Or in the more recent case, pushed the others to be better, while pushing himself. He glances away from Robert, staring at something else.]

Facing them can be hard. You might not want to. But don't push them away either. Most people can be more forgiving and supportive than you think. Though sometimes they need a bit of time.
semper_cogitans: (:|a)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-11-30 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[Robert's gaze slides to the floor in penance, but he nods slowly. Leo is right, of course. It makes sense.]

... I... I always hope so...

... P-Perhaps I am lucky, that... so many people I know are... w-willing to forgive my flaws.

[Quietly:] I would... still rather not have them at all, though...

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-12-01 09:32 am (UTC)(link)
What are friends for? [It's a rhetorical question of course. He looks back at Robert.] They look past the flaws and the issues and still want to be with you.

Robert, everybody has flaws, everyone makes mistakes. If everyone was perfect, we'd live in a boring world. [But it doesn't stop some from trying to be perfect.]
semper_cogitans: (:<)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-12-03 11:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Both of them try far too hard to be perfect.]

... It just feels... th-that I owe them... something better...

[Especially Don. He should never give Don problems...]

... A-And, and failing is... d-discouraging, but... [Robert knows he should keep trying. It's just hard to rationalize that.]

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-12-04 07:28 am (UTC)(link)
The best thing you can give anyone, is yourself. Good friends will accept what you can do.

[He sighs, he's starting to get ideas in his head.]

Are you worried Don will think down on you? Push you away?
semper_cogitans: (D:>)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-12-05 02:32 am (UTC)(link)

S-Sometimes, yes. Sometimes I... w-worry I do not deserve him...

[That isn't easy to admit, and he wrings his hands in his lap, suddenly almost ashamed.]

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-12-06 08:07 am (UTC)(link)
[Leo lets out a sigh, rubbing at his forehead for a moment.]

Things happen for a reason, Robert. If you two weren't meant for each other, you wouldn't be together at all.
Edited 2011-12-06 08:07 (UTC)
semper_cogitans: (:<)

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2011-12-07 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
[He knows it's probably a silly thing to worry about. But he worries anyway.]


... I have... m-made mistakes before, and... and... w-well. I suppose sometimes I... f-fear I might repeat them, and... ruin everything.

[He's afraid to say any specifics... but Leo might notice Robert fiddling with his sleeves, close to his wrists, as he speaks.]

[identity profile] honorthecode.livejournal.com 2011-12-12 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
[He notes the fiddling. Suddenly he reaches out and grabs the mans hand/arm to stop it.]

You've made mistakes getting since getting here. Have Don or anyone else you know just walked away from you? Never spoken to you again?
Edited 2011-12-12 05:09 (UTC)

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